finally did some travelling: Vitoria (Basque capital) and Bilbao.
Unfortunately, the Guggenheim was closed. Somebody should have looked that up before hand.
I have friends with jobs/without jobs and then I have friends who have started grad school this year.
On the one hand, I feel like I am advancing more than my graduate students peers. That doesn’t mean that I feel like I’m maturing more, but it does mean that I feel like unlike them, I am starting the next epic of my life. I cannot remember a time in my life when I wasn’t in school. And now, for the first time, I am living on my own, in a foreign country no less, making travel a priority, and living a non-student lifestyle. I still have obligations to my classes–the three schools and private lessons–but for the most part when I am outside of the classroom I am not working. As a student these times are less concrete and you are always negotiating your time into leisure and study/research. In this sense I feel as though I have moved on, no longer serving an institution.*
On the other hand, I feel inerudite and uncultured in comparison to my peers achieving higher degrees. I will probably die with a mere B.A. How un-academic of me, how intellectually incurious I am to have gotten a job. How distasteful! And I even chose an easy way to do it–I didn’t even stick it out in the breadlines–or shall I say intern-lines–I just applied and got a job! And my skills? My skills are the fact that I can only speak one language fluently and it’s English. What have I even done with my life?? When I think about my friends getting their PhDs I can only imagine what topics they and their grad school friends talk about: Nietzche, quarks, tort reform?? Could I even explain to anyone what those things are if I was asked? (the answer is no). And I wonder what it will be like to hear all about grad school adventures. They’re reliving college, but college for grown-ups who are interested in something very specific. What if I could go to college again with people who shared my precise interests? But what exactly are those interests again? Certainly nothing worth writing 100+ pages about. I’m such a non-academic, run of the mill, average, going about my typical, employed life. Very unoriginal and very normal. I’m normal. gross.
*One can say that we are always serving some kind of institution but while I am in Spain I at least feel as though I am mitigating any effects the man may have on me.