Time and thoughts

Well, I’ve been gone for 3 weeks and I traveled to 6 different countries.  I didn’t realize how long 3 weeks really is until I was experiencing it.

In the grand scheme of life (and the universe) 3 weeks is nothing, but 3 weeks is a long time to be traveling and it is also a good percentage of my time so far abroad.  I feel like I’ve been in Spain for so long, but it hasn’t even been 4 months, out of which 3 weeks were spent on vacation.

The trip gave me a new perspective on things.  Time, which I already began to talk about, is one of them.  I am heavily reconsidering spending another year abroad after this.  I don’t think I can do it.  It feels like ages since I’ve felt at home anywhere, where a basic understanding exists between myself and the people I interact with.  This is only exacerbated by the fact that I haven’t really had a home since I first left it for college.  And contemplating another year in this unsettled purgatory weighs on my sensibilities and begs the question of “Why?”  Why would I prevent myself from establishing settledness?

On the brighter side, time is passing this slowly because I am filling it with a multitude of activities and new experiences.  Up until this point, I had always believed that this was how life was best-spent, but now I’m starting to think that a life lived entirely this way would probably kill you early from exhaustion.

Nevertheless, I also gained another perspective of time, and that is that I’ve been taking my time in Miranda too seriously.  This is hard not to do, as it is my life that I live every day.  I realized that I was doing this when I began to dread returning to Spain after my vacation…having to teach those kids again, having to come up with more vocabulary lists, more activities to keep them interested, etc. But Hello!  I get to live in Spain for a year. What world have I created for myself in which I’m not enjoying living in Spain? I should stop stressing over a job I dislike and look around and really aprovechar* the experience.  I think the only way to do so is to cut back my hours at the Academia.  Maybe only teach adult classes or something.  I really can’t handle planning so many class activities and on top of it disciplining unruly boys.

Hopefully I’m on the right track with that one.

I learned a few other things on my travels as well:

That no matter how many blog topics I thought of to write about, none are as pressing or cognitively ubiquitous now as they seemed then.  I have a long list of things I could write about, but I now lack the inspiration to do so.

I am probably in the background in several family/facebook albums of complete strangers.  What a weird thing.

Almost every picture is much better with at least one person in it.

Even though on some level each of us is alone in this world, I have a rejuvenated appreciation for companionship in whatever capacity.  Solitude is only satisfactory for so long.

You can tell when a couple is truly in love because they derive their happiness from one another’s essence.  And that’s a nice thing to see, but only when the essence is complete on its own and doesn’t depend on the other’s essence to survive. Those are the annoying couples…or on the flip-side, the dysfunctional ones.

*This is a word that means “take advantage of” that I’ve been finding myself wanting to use a lot when speaking English, since it covers the sentiment with one word.


1 Comment

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One response to “Time and thoughts

  1. Brian Tran

    Ariela! I strongly suggest you to not spend another year abroad. Why? Well, you should come back home to visit me! I cannot think of any other reason.

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