Uh oh people, we’ve got a grunter on our hands.
At the gym today, this middle-aged man insisted on letting it out at every machine. I saw how many pounds he was lifting. It was marginally more than what I lift.
Yet with each extension and contraction, this man released all possible energy his body contained, expressing that energy with an unending, sharp “hyryoooooaahhh.” It was actually quite disturbing and uncomfortable how much this man was dispensing. It’s like if someone you don’t know well farts in a quiet room. What do you do?
Oh, did I mention that the grunter also happened to be wearing the absolute shortest shorts I’ve ever seen on a man in real life? I had to do my abs exercises on the mat next to him as he did bicycle crunches! GROSS. Thank God nothing slipped out…but come to think of it, I wonder how he managed to keep it all in! The man must be a genius to accomplish such a feat. A genius with no common decency…or shame.