As promised, I think this is the first worthwhile entry I’ve posted in a while.
A few months ago I had a correspondence with an old friend of mine who is a happily-married 22-year-old. She sent me the link to a WSJ article in which another married 22-year-old debunks the myth that marrying young is unwise. I posted the link at the end of this post.
The writer makes many good points, but the debate about what your 20s are supposed to be like was reignited in me today when I was talking to another friend.
This friend of mine is in a very serious relationship and is realizing that inevitably that relationship is in some ways limiting the options available to her. Namely, she can’t just live wherever she wants—and she’s not even married!
So on the one side we have the people who contend that your 20s should be all about yourself and that serious relationships have the tendency of preventing you from fully exploring that self…and on the other side we have the people who either believe that if the relationship is healthy enough it simply won’t prevent your self-exploration or that that “special someone” is worth making the sacrifice for, regardless of your ripe young age.
A year ago I was very comfortable on the first side. I was soakin’ up the youthful, free sun, taking out a mortgage on my beach house and getting a wicked tan over there. And now I’ve still got my golden glow but I’ve defaulted on my mortgage and the bank is threatening to foreclose.
The truth is, I just don’t know. To quote Doug Funnie, “Beats me.”
How the hell are you supposed to know what the “right” thing is to do? Are you supposed to go about your life making the decisions that you think you would make if you were the only thing that mattered? Or are you supposed to take everyone else into consideration? And when the relationship doesn’t work out, would you wish that you had gone to school in Seattle instead of staying in Chicago?
And what if you end up as the woman that all women are taught to fear–the 45-year-old corporate lawyer who lost her chance at having biological children because she never put the men in her life first?
It really is quite a dilemma and I have no wise words to ease the confusion. Here’s to hoping that the right choice will always be clear to me!
Read the WSJ article here!