I have no idea what happened, but I have been much happier here since I got back from Portugal!
I am looking forward to going home, sure, but goddamnit, I’ve only got 2 months left!
Back in I’m back! I made a list of 5 things I was going to do to avoid depression.
I did #3, and at one of the elementary schools and in 5 of my high school classes I now run the class entirely by myself. Therefore, I don’t feel useless in the classroom nor do I feel as though there is no hope for these unruly, loud students to learn English. Discipline has been much less of a problem–it’s still an obstacle, but very overcome-able. The same thing was true at the end of last trimester, but this time I started out knowing what I’m doing, and now I am more organized and do more planning.
#1 (working out) has been much less successful for various reasons–I’m pretty sick at the moment, last week was Jenn’s birthday, today is a national holiday and the gym is closed, etc. But don’t worry, when I’m feeling better, I’ll be right back in there! Hopefully I’ll go for a run today if I feel well enough.
#2 (extra tutoring) ended up not working out cause the kid wanted someone with a heavy grammar background–not my fault. But also, I’m pretty busy with work as it is (how did this happen? I haven’t changed my hours at all and yet I have so little free time this trimester).
Also been pretty slow on the uptake with #4 (looking for jobs), but I will be getting to that. Two nights ago, I had a brilliant idea! I’ve thought about living in Latin America and being a tour guide there…why not be a tour guide in the U.S.?
And as for #5, I happen to be going to the beach tomorrow!
Overall, I haven’t made too many changes, but the fact that I feel more in control in my job–that maybe they are learning some English finally, that I have been able to do so much fantastic traveling and still have so much left before I leave (Barcelona again, Salamanca, Porto, and Santiago de Compostela, Canary Islands, and all of Andalucia), and the fact that thanks to daylight savings it’s not pitch black when I get off work, has put me in a much better mood! I want this to keep up so that when I go home I can tell people that I loved living in Spain because I hate having to deal with telling them that it was only “ok.” My next task is to reconcile my ambivalence towards Spanish culture itself.
