here we go again…

I’m back to feeling hopeless and lost about my future.

I’m back to thinking about going to Latin America again.

What the hell am I going to do with my life?

Jack suggested I write down my goals for the next 5-20 years (quite a ballpark) to help me figure out what steps to take now to get there.

The problem is, on the one hand I feel compelled to begin a career (any career) and on the other hand I feel compelled to take advantage of this time now and continue traveling.

If I traveled, I would want to be back home.  If I (somehow) found a job, I would worry about the fact that I wouldn’t be able to travel again so freely for several years.

I was completely unprepared for and unaware of the enormous psychological shift post-college of confronting an entire future of uncertainty.

Literally.  I have no idea what my life will have in store past 2 1/2 months in the future.  And that date is rapidly approaching.

I’m a planner.  I cannot handle such ignorance.

I also can’t handle being such a downer.  I really do feel bad about that, and I’m sorry, but this is one of the hardest times of my life.

I know I’m really lucky and I am extremely grateful for all the opportunities to travel that I’ve gotten this year.  But past that, everything else scares me to death.

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