I’m back to feeling hopeless and lost about my future.
I’m back to thinking about going to Latin America again.
What the hell am I going to do with my life?
Jack suggested I write down my goals for the next 5-20 years (quite a ballpark) to help me figure out what steps to take now to get there.
The problem is, on the one hand I feel compelled to begin a career (any career) and on the other hand I feel compelled to take advantage of this time now and continue traveling.
If I traveled, I would want to be back home. If I (somehow) found a job, I would worry about the fact that I wouldn’t be able to travel again so freely for several years.
I was completely unprepared for and unaware of the enormous psychological shift post-college of confronting an entire future of uncertainty.
Literally. I have no idea what my life will have in store past 2 1/2 months in the future. And that date is rapidly approaching.
I’m a planner. I cannot handle such ignorance.
I also can’t handle being such a downer. I really do feel bad about that, and I’m sorry, but this is one of the hardest times of my life.
I know I’m really lucky and I am extremely grateful for all the opportunities to travel that I’ve gotten this year. But past that, everything else scares me to death.