Ladies and gents:

Every time you meet someone from the opposite sex, do you feel an immediate pressure to decide if this could be something romantic?

Can I get an Amen?

Don’t you wanna just get to know someone first before making any decisions like that?

Can I get an Amen?

What happened to the good ol’ days when all a gal/fella wanted was a new friend?


I’m really starting to resent male-female interactions. I try to be as charming and confident as possible and they try to be as gentlemanly as possible by going through the dating steps. If I’m not totally opposed to dating you, but not too excited about it either, the only response to being asked out is to acquiesce, and the whole thing is doomed from the start because the romantic element is being pushed too early.

Dating raises so many dilemmas that I mostly only experience vicariously through my heavy-dater friend. There are the questions of what is the right amount of communication between dates; how fast should things be moving; how lenient should I be in my expectations; how often should you let him pay; do you end it over the phone or make him come to meet you in person…or just ignore his calls; if before the first date you think it probably won’t work, should you give him a chance anyway…and then once you do, and, yep, you were right, you’re not interested, how do you tell him that??!??!

I am just so sick of it. It shouldn’t be this hard. I’d like to do a study of long-term couples and see if their relationships started off under such troubling circumstances, because I’m inclined to believe that if it’s there, it just happens, and it’s simple.



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2 responses to “dating

  1. Hannah

    AMEN !!!! I have to say though, I don’t think my parents dating period was smooth sailing..they broke up, had issues. So that at least gives me hope that once you commit for real, you can be happy..

  2. Stacie

    You basically described what it was like when I dated in college. The few times I did go out on dates, I didn’t really feel a romantic connection, but I went anyway because I couldn’t figure out a reason not to. I guess it wasn’t the best mind set to go into a date: “Well, I don’t really think this is going to work out, but why not?” I will say that if you want to date for the sake of dating, casual dating is a blast and if it turns into something, then great.

    When I met Jacob, the dates just sort of happened naturally and I didn’t really question it all. We had the romantic connection immediately and the dates just developed. We didn’t really question whether or not we were exclusive; it just happened. Eventually, we didn’t really think too much about moving in together; it felt natural. Same with getting married. When we met, I intuitively knew that he was the one for me. We have our spats, but we love each other enough to accept each other for who we are and we trust that we are in this for the long haul and we trust that we will make it work!

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